“I’ve discovered the fountain of youth…turns out it tastes a lot like vodka” – acrossthelinecards.com
“…The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets to the wind. Pithecanthropus erectus (ape-human that stands upright) was a teetotaler, but the angels, you may be sure, know what is proper at 5 p.m.
All this is so obvious that I marvel that no utopian has ever proposed to abolish all the sorrows of the world by the simple device of getting and keeping the whole human race gently stewed. I do not say drunk, remember; I say simply gently stewed – and apologize, as in duty bound, for…
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